If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
