i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
