She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
