Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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