ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize