Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
