you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
