I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
