No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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