ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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