You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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