Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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