theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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