I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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