Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
