Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
