You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
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i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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