now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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