OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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