He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
