I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
