we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
