ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize