They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
