Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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