did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize