Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
