Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
