Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize