My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
