i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
