can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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