"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just blew my weed a kiss
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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