I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
