And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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