Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
