i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
