would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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