Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
