The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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