I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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