so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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