it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
