I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?