i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?