it was like his penis was on wheels.
someone owes me an orgasm
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.