how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.