Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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