What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
