VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
