Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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