Christians are straight up FREAKS
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
