'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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