Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
