There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
