I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
