i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Drunk is a universal language darling
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize