it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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