Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
